So They Do They Play Bowls In Heaven - Visitor's Funny Story

by Richard John Scarr
(Brighton, East Sussex, England )

Billy and John were out on the bowling green in England.

And Billy said: "I wonder if they play bowls in heaven? And if so, I wonder if it ever rains halfway through a match, like it does here?"

And John said: "And I wonder if they ever have strong winds suddenly blow across the green and take your bowl off course just as it's about to pick up the jack, like it does here?"

And the two of them decided that whoever went over first would try to contact the other one, and let him know if they really did play bowls in heaven.

Needless to say, they were tempting fate. And two weeks later Billy received his calling up papers, and so passed away.

Then just a week after the funeral, John was out on the bowling green all on his own, practicing. When suddenly a voice called: "John!"

John looked about him, but there was no one to be seen.

So he bent and was about to send another bowl down the green, when the voice said: "It's me! Billy!"

And John said: "Is that really you Billy?"

And Billy said: "Yes-- honest! Remember, we agreed whoever went over first would try to contact the other one? So here I am."

And John said: "Well, what is it like in heaven? Do they play bowls? And if so, what is the weather like? Do they have rain and wind?"

And Billy said: "Well, I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

And John said: "Give me the good news first."

And Billy said; "They do play bowls in heaven. And the bowling greens are magnificent. Smooth as a baby's bottom with no kinks or bumps. It never rains so you don't need a wet suit. And there is not a breath of wind. Perfect conditions at all times."

So John said: "Then what is the bad news?"

And Billy said: "Well, the bad news is-- you are down to play next Tuesday!"