The Zen of Parenting - Visitor's Article

by Janet Hobbs
(North Vancouver, BC Canada)

1. It is possible to reach the Divine through the simple, deep love of one's children.

2. You will get back from your children what you deeply give them. You know what that is so don't be surprised at what is deeply returned to you.

3. The sign of a good parent is the ability to forgive self because we are all bumbling human beings. The more we truly forgive our mistakes, the more we can allow our children to be human too. Whatever we can forgive in ourselves, is likely what our children will be able to forgive in themselves too.

4. The doors of Heaven open when a child is born and that is why there's often such joy in the delivery room. Keep reminding yourself of that feeling when your child was born and seemed a gift of God. Be faithful to that feeling of love for your child.

5. Let your children tell you the truth of how they feel, even if it is upsetting. They often put to words how you deeply feel anyway.

6. Sometimes it is easier to love one's children than oneself. Let your children bring out the best of you and then give that best back to yourself.

7. The more you love and respect yourself, the more you will instinctively love and respect your children. If you are harsh with yourself, you will be harsh with your children. Either overtly or covertly.

8. When you're angry with them, look at their freckles, their little lips, their cheeks, their vulnerable necks, their soft bodies, anything to help you reach past that moment into your immense love for them. The more you can remember your love for them, even when you're angry with them, the more fulfilled you will be both as a parent and a human being.

9. The feeling of success comes most powerfully from the sense that it is safe to be fully oneself. Someone putting on an act could be Prime Minister but still deeply feel a failure. The more valuable achievements come from people whose work is an outpouring of themselves and their love, whose work just couldn't be done by anyone else. These people leave their mark. If we raised a generation of children to live this way, this world would be transformed forever.

10. Whatever emotional garbage you deal with, won't be passed on. The most loving thing a parent can do is to confront his or her own demons, rather than projecting them out and passing them on to the next generation. Knowing this, gives one the strength to do one's emotional homework.

11. Allow life's hardships to bring out the best in you.

12. Children are Divine Beings in human form. So are you. But they are fresher from heaven and deserve respect for that.

13. If you let yourself learn from your children, your old age will be happier and probably healthier.

14. Parenting is easier when you remember being a child yourself, not so long ago.

by Janet (Premasudha) Hobbs